My birthday is just around the corner — I will be 37 by the 15th of May.

I wrote this letter to share my life wisdom with others, just a note to myself. There is no regret, and there is no wish.

Just lessons learned.

In fact…

I prefer my 30s to my 20s.

I’m only getting ramped up, not slowing down in the slightest.

I’m now more in control of my thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Emotional control leads to attention.

Aristotle said: You become what you give your attention to.

Life is never easy; it’s not meant to be easy and will never be easy.

Full of distractions and destructions.

Don’t focus on the destructive side of life. Eyes on the target. Your attention must be stronger than your distractions.

Define your fun

Life is about quality, not quantity. In my 30s, I look more for quality.

I might skip some events, but when a good one comes along, I will grab the opportunity.

In life, fun is yours.

If you want to enjoy your life, don’t subscribe to other people’s definition of “fun”.

The fun doesn’t have to mean:

• Drinking
• Partying
• Socializing

Fun can be a night alone, having deep conversations, playing music, or doing things you love.

Your fun is yours.

In life, look for experiences, not for things.

There is not a single object that I have purchased that I value more than the experiences/travel/memories I have spent my money on.

You can have anything in life

If you want a remarkable life, you have to do special things.

Most people do what they are “supposed” to do. That’s a quick way to live an average life.

Your actions and inactions define you. Not your words. Not your dreams.

Every day of inaction, when something is burning in your soul to accomplish, is pushing you farther and farther from your dreams.

Stop thinking. Go do.

Regretting from inaction is always more painful than regretting from action.

Taking no risk is the biggest risk you can take.

I believe the first step to growing and achieving something is unlearning.

• Unlearn your bad habits.
• Unlearn, wasting time.
• Unlearn procrastinating.
• Unlearn to give up.
• Unlearn how to move your focus from one place to another.

If you want to stand up, find joy in doing boring, repetitive tasks. That’s where mastery comes from.

Being able to be bored is a skill. 

Especially in a world full of shiny objects and dopamine boosts, this mindset is crucial.

If what you are doing isn’t sexy, it’s probably what you need to focus on.

In sports, hurt means you aren’t 100% healthy but can play in a game. Injured means you have a broken bone, and there is no way you can play.

Life is about being at your best when hurt.

No situation is perfect, just like no athlete is ever 100% healthy.

Don’t expect to be in your 100% all the time to do something.

Success is for those who are consistent and stay until the end. The winner is usually the last man standing.

Consistency is the ultimate cheat code.

As Bill Gates said, most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.

Everyone around you is playing short-term games. If you can think long-term, you will win.

To build your consistency, you need to develop systems for your life. Willpower is overrated.

Instill routines and discipline to make productive work automatic.

Orchestrate your life to win.

Go study the best in the world. What they have in common:

• Built a system for success.
• Fall in love with the system.
• Stuck with the system for decades.
• They fall in love with executing boring systems.

Find yours.

Commit to the structure. 

It’s monotonous sometimes. It’s not fun sometimes.

It involves failure sometimes, and you automatically want to skip to the easy part of things.

Average players want what’s easy. Easy doesn’t make you better. Easy is for everyone else, not you.

Find your obsession.

Life is about finding what you are obsessed with. You can’t stop thinking about it. Find it and go do it with people who feel the same way.

Success is consistency + skills

If you can deconstruct a skill, you can learn it. If you can learn any skill, you can do anything.

No one is smarter than you; they are just more consistent and have learned to decode a skill. You can do the same.

Do one thing that challenges your mind every single day. 

A crossword puzzle, a math problem, anything. Daily “exercise” will keep your mind sharp for the long haul.

For me, it is reading and writing.

Read every day. One of the best self-investments. Learn from lifetimes of experience in just a few hours.

Learn from 0.0000000001%, not from people who are 10 steps ahead of you.

Imagine learning from Aristotle, Napoleon, Churchill, Ganghiz Khan, Darwin, and Warren Buffet.

Most of the best-selling books are best-sellers because of good marketing. Not good knowledge. Be careful of that.

Study the most successful people on earth. You will find patterns there, along with their philosophy of life.

Keep your heart aligned; for the one whose heart aligns with their purpose, the years add more than age.

Love and relationships

The best definition of love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting they won’t use it.

But unfortunately, most will use that power to destroy you.

The best, most fulfilling, and longest-lasting relationships are fundamentally boring. 

No drama.

Just consistency, predictability, and reliability.

In any relationship, give everybody a second chance, but never a third.

This is where abuse starts.

Kindness is not a sign of weakness, no one has ever regretted being kind.

Don’t fear sadness, as it tends to sit right next to love.

Every night before bed, hug her and tell her how much you love her. Maybe one day, she won’t be sleeping on the other side of the bed.

No one has ever argued their way to happiness, and you know what? An argument is part of any relationship.

The “good old days” are always happening right now; appreciate this moment and your relationship.

Confidence without competence is a delusion.

Always work on your competence to become self-reliant. Avoid putting yourself in a position where you depend on anyone to live your life.

The ability to live your life without fear or favor is true freedom.

Money and work

Money is the only thing that will ever give you freedom. Whoever tells you otherwise is either a liar or broke.

A lot of people might disagree with this, and I wish it could be true.

9–5 jobs are comfort money.

They give you just enough money to make it hard to leave.

• Then you buy a house, get a car, and have kids.
• Then it’s too much risk to leave the job.
• The next thing you know, you blink, and you’re 60.

In fact…

Your employer doesn’t care about you. You might think they do, and you might be correct.

but most of the time, you’re wrong.

They care about you as much as it’s convenient for them. No further. You better have a plan if that convenience ends.

Realize that your 9–5 income is fragile. Your job can go away in an instant.

Build up a side hustle.

Any business at first will fail, and that’s ok; that’s normal. You don’t want to just fail. You want to learn from every mistake.

If you do something big, like leave your job to chase your dream:

• Some people will encourage you and tell you that you’ll crush it.
• Some will tell you that’s not a safe choice and you should reconsider.

They are both right.

The only difference is which one you believe in. This is true for any kind of risk.

If you believe in something, you make it happen. It doesn’t matter what’s true; what you believe is true.

Your life is all about the consequences of your beliefs. 

Your limits are defined by your beliefs. Belief is a statement of perceived truth.

Your beliefs create your reality.

Most of my best decisions in life are things that very safe people around me said were “bad ideas.” But I believed I could make them.

Chasing dreams and success is wonderful.

But if you spend every waking hour chasing it and you never stop to look around and enjoy life, you will regret it.

You have to be anti-fragile.

If your whole life hangs on a single job, a single income, or a single failure waiting to happen, you will not make it.

You have to be able to absorb the hits and keep on moving.

Your job should be a transition, a tool to improve your life and skills, not an end destination.